#10 Dealing With the Big 40 and Your Profile
Turning 40 will impact your profile on the major dating sites because many men sort profiles with an age cutoff of 39. Rather than lying about your age, which will only cause trouble later on, you should become more aggressive in your own search parameters and don’t be afraid to make the first move. Start sending messages to men who interest you even if their age cutoff is 39.
#9 Adjust Your Search Parameters
Have you restricted your search to men no older than 45? 49? 50? Maybe it’s time to open your mind to men who are both older and younger than you. Many women in their 40s still look 20 years younger, and the same is true of men. By refusing to consider that sexy 52 year old you may be missing out. Likewise, if you haven’t considered men under 30, go for it!
#8 Break the Rules
Whether your goal is to get married or you just want to have a few laughs, there’s no need to follow the dating rules about when you can call, what you should text and whether you can use emojis. It makes little sense to sit on the phone for four days because of some misguided dating rules. You’re a busy woman, you have a schedule to keep! If you have an extra ticket for a play, give him a ring right away!
#7 You Know What’s Important, Say So!
Stop writing your online profile like a 25 year old’s, with a list of things that you think he wants to hear. Be honest with yourself: you have a different criteria for dating than you did as a 25 year old. Different things are now important to you in a mate. Believe me, no man worth having wants to date a woman with a fake personality.
#6 Don’t Go Negative
The death knell for online and real-life dating is going negative. There are so many profiles where women (and men) begin with some variation of the statement “I’m not looking for any players” or “I’m hoping this time around I can find a good person who will not break my heart.” Look, your past relationship baggage has to come up at some point, but that doesn’t mean talking about your exes and bad experiences in your online profile or first date.
#5 Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places
Ladies, if you want a certain kind of man, you need to go where these men might be. If you don’t want to have a one-night stand with a person you can’t stand, then don’t hit the clubs and bars looking for love. Similarly, if the guys you find online don’t share your passions, skip online dancing and join a club or take a class. Many happy mid-life pairings started in cooking, dancing or painting classes.
#4 Watch Out for the Rebound
Nobody wants to be the rebound girl, the woman that the newly divorced guy has a brief fling with before he processes his divorce. (No one wants to be the rebound guy, either). So if you’ve been single for awhile, avoid the newly divorced dude. Let him figure out his custody and divorce baggage before jumping into an uncertain future with him.
#3 Being Alone is Empowering Not Sad
If you’re a single, accomplished woman over 40 you should be proud for living an independent and fun lifestyle. Even if you secretly are desperate to get hitched, don’t showcase that desperation in dating. The more desperate you are the less fun you will have. So approach your dating life as an adventure, but not one that requires you to compromise who you are, because who you are is awesome.
#2 Texting is Not Dating
Texting can be flirtatious and fun, but it also creates a false sense of connection. Many women are frustrated when days and weeks of texting don’t result in actual real-life dates. “But I thought we had a connection!” Texting is no substitute for actual human connection. Be bold and ask your frequent texter out. If he declines or makes excuses, it’s time to cut bait. Don’t be strung along.
#1 Say What You Want
You’ve learned a thing or two in your life, so it’s imperative that you state what you want. Whether that’s to get married, or never marry, to have kids, or never have kids… don’t hesitate to say so. Many men are attracted to women who know what they want. The same is true of your preferences in the bedroom. Don’t deny yourself the chance to be satisfied the way you want!